I've spent a bit of time today contemplating on what I'd write about tonight. I could write about the weekend...we spent it at Mom and Dad's and had a wonderful time (volleyball, kids playing in the corn field, the beauty after a storm, preps, curly hair for me, meeting, Gospel meeting, lunch with friends and family). I could write about the fact that I finally won something! Thanks so much, Cassie! I love the apron.

~~~

After much consideration, I've decided to share our experience of the day.

I tend to just show the "rosey" side of life here with Little Guy and Emmy.

And it usually is...rosey, that is.

But not today.

~~~

Today, I got to go to Target twice...within one hour! Normally, I'd see that

as a pretty positive thing. I love Target...even if I don't buy a single thing, I love to

walk around and just look at stuff. Probably a bit strange, I know. However, in our attempt to save money, I've discovered that I get almost the same amount of enjoyment out of

just looking at stuff as I used to get in buying it.

~~~

But, enough about me.

So, this afternoon I loaded the kids up in the car and we headed to Target

to stock up on stuff for convention...candy, little cans of pop (love those things...they are actually a serving size!), pencils, notebooks, snacks, etc.

Ryan is perfectly content to sit and draw in his notebook as he listens.

He informed me, that in order to do this, he would need an eraser.

I found a 2-pack of the pink erasers (that have been around since the age of the dinosaurs)

and told him to go ahead and grab a package of those. We continued through the store...

into the summer aisle, the toy aisle, the gardening aisle...yep...I love this store!

We paid for our stuff and then left the store.

Next stop was the library (back across town near our house) to pick up a

book Ryan had requested.

As I was looking for a book myself (this one was already checked out!), Ryan pulled

the package of erasers out of his pocket and said, "Oh, by the way, here's something we forgot to pay for."

~~~

My heart stopped.

~~~

I was raised to be honest (I try, I really do!) and have never been brave (read stupid) enough to try to steal something. I would have always way too afraid of the consequences (thanks, Dad, for instilling fear in me!).

The look on my face must have been interesting, because...all of a sudden...the look

on his face was interesting. Emma just stood there and watched.

~~~

We had a little discussion there in the library, checked out our books and left.

We had another little discussion in the car.

And then another when I dropped Emma off at the house with Bob.

Then another not-so-little discussion in the car on the way back to Target.

For a .99 package of erasers!!

~~~

When we were just a few minutes away, Ryan told me that his stomach hurt.

I told him it was because he was nervous.

He told me that, no, it was because he felt like he was gonna throw up.

We got to the store, I gave him the package and in we went.

At customer service, I asked if there was a manager my son could

speak with.

The manager was perfect...she bent down to his level so they were eye-to-eye.

I told him to go ahead.

He pulled his hand up above the counter, held onto the erasers with a death-grip

and explained what he had done with a quivering voice.

My eyes started to "water" (must have had something stuck in them).

She thanked him for being honest and coming back.

She explained that she wasn't going to send him to jail (he'd asked about this in the car), but she explained that older people do get sent to jail for the same exact thing...that it gets easier each time you do it. She was perfect.

He left with even more fear of what would happen if there was a "next time."

~~~

When we got to the car, he asked why I was crying (oops!).

I explained that, as a parent, you want to protect your child from anything and everything. When he was little, the "bad" things that he did weren't so bad...like throwing a book or

being too noisy where quiet is expected. Those are small things that are easily "parented."

But, once a child gets big enough to make their own decisions and choose to make that choise against what they've been taught, it's harder as a parent. You still want to protect them, but the best way to do that is to let them get what's coming to them as a consequence.

Otherwise, there is no lesson learned and the behavior can escalate.

I explained that what he had done made me mad first and sad second, because I know he knows better.

~~~

We were quiet in the car for a bit.

About ten minutes later, he said, "Thanks, Mom, for making

me go back and talk to them."

I didn't expect that.

I told him that I was glad he felt that way because it showed

that he had learned the severity of what he had done and the

importance of being honest, even when the

thought of what was going to happen upon confession was not pleasant.

It would have been nuch easier for him to hide the erasers; I would have forgotten about them and he'd never have gotten in trouble.

~~~

I've often wondered why you have to be trained for most jobs, to drive a car, even the mocha machine I borrowed from Mom has an instructional DVD...where is my instructional DVD on raising a child? Today's experience helped me to realize that the manual is life itself.

Both Ryan and I learned a few things today...lessons that would have been missed

by reading about it in a book. That doesn't mean that I don't prefer that it didn't happen...but I'd much rather have it happen now when he's eight than when he's sixteen.

As he sleeps in his bed tonight, I see the faint shadow of that little tiny boy I used to have.

The innocence... the sweetness.

But now I can also see the beginnings of the person that he'll be someday, and I'm glad

that today was a reminder that every moment in his life now has an influence on the person he will become someday. Each moment is so important.