Everywhere I look, things seem to be changing.
As the calendar changes to September tomorrow, the kids have already been
back in school for a week.  Dusk comes earlier in the evenings as the crickets and frogs work together to create beautiful music.  Tonight, at 9 p.m. it was 74 degrees rather than 94.  The windows to the house were open all day, and the A/C was not missed.  Emma's music class has started back up; Scouts will soon follow.  Our house is full of the sounds of music between Emma's piano and Ryan's saxaphone.  On my morning walks, I've noticed a couple of trees trying oh-so-hard to change colors.  And our house, oh our house is so very quiet during the day.
~~~
Over the past while, when I've imagined my days with both kids in school and Bob at work, I just imagined...well...a bit of freedom.  Freedom to do anything I want, when I want while everyone else is being taken care of elsewhere.  I've been home with the kids since Ryan was 20 months old, and, as all of you moms know, there really isn't any time off.  You're the one the kids come to when they feel sick at night or have a bad dream.  The evenings?  We still have to cook dinner, clean up after dinner, put the kids to bed, etc.  The weekends?  There's still plenty to do.  So I'm a bit surprised with how the past week has gone.
~~~
My dear husband has never, not even once, made a comment about my housekeeping/cooking/organizing skills.  If you've ever dropped in, you know that our home is rarely spotless.  And that's how we've wanted it...it's a home, not just a house.  We want our kids to know that they can truely live in our home without worrying (too much) about their mom freaking about about toys, etc on the living room floor.  So it was a bit of a surprise for me today to realize that I haven't sat down for more than fifteen minutes a day over the first week of school.  Something inside me is so worried that Bob is going to think I'm sitting in the hottub all day eating bonbons (ahhh...if only we had a hottub...and some bonbons).  He laughs when I tell him this...
So today, I took it a bit easier.  I still worked, but I spent most of my time preparing to start my business.  I spent part of the day reading up on what it takes to start a small business in our state and several hours teaching myself how to free-motion quilt (stipling) a baby quilt.  Getting back to working with something I enjoy helped me to slow down a bit...literally take a few deep breaths.
~~~
So now, along with all of the other changes that are happening around me, I need to change.  I need to slow down, mix a little fun in with the necessary work, try to get used to the quiet days here at home.  I need to get used to the slightly different role I'll play in the kids' lives.  Someone else will spend a good portion of their waking hours moulding them (although I'll be there once a week to keep an eye on them!).  Their friends will have more and more influence upon them.  And me?  I'll be here at 3:58 p.m. when the bus stops outside anxiously waiting to hear about their day and making sure they are still on the right path.